Religious left not right

(The Signal 2.22)

Kudonts to Jim Wallis whose recent article in Time claims that the era of the Religious Right is over as more pastors and congregations abandon partisan politics. Religious Right is the label commonly given to groups who support right-wing (aka Republican) politics as a part of their religious beliefs. Now I don’t know what Wallis was thinking here, but it is clear to me that he is part of the growing, misinformed public who thinks that you can be both a Christian and a Democrat. Obviously the pastors and congregations he is referring to are not Christian ones because it is pretty clearly stated in the Bible that to follow Jesus you must be a Republican (not sure where it is, but I have faith that it is there). Just take a look at Jesus’ Republican bias: he talked to his opposition rather than waging war, ministered to the lower-class, administered free health care and supported gun control (i.e. there weren’t any) all of which Bush and the Republicans are still supporting today albeit in their own special, similar yet opposite kind of way. For a guy who wrote a book called God’s Politics, Wallis should know that God gave us free will so that we could in turn legislate His laws to non-believers thus taking away their free will to oppose Him thereby legally allowing them to not choose to not follow Him. What good is religion anyway if it remains personal? The best kind of religion is a mandated one, just like the one in England that our ancestors came to America to escape. What were they thinking? Oh right, faith excuses rational thought. All that aside, we know that our country was founded on Christian doctrine since Thomas Jefferson penned the Declaration of Independence, and he is renowned for his Christian/Deistic beliefs/doubts as seen in his Jefferson Bible/trinity bashing. Hopefully the Religious Right will remember this in times of struggle and soldier on for years to come.


Supplemental Material
Many people believe and/or try to make the case that America was founded on Christian doctrine by Christian men. What is the historical basis for this argument, you might ask? It is nothing more than people trying to rewrite history to further their own political agenda. Some Founding Fathers were no doubt Christians, but many of them, like Thomas Jefferson were confirmed Deists. TJ even created his own version of the Bible, known as the Jefferson Bible, which did not include any of Jesus' miracles or anything else that might hint to Jesus' divinity. In an 1814 letter, TJ says, "Christianity neither is, or ever was, part of the common law." As a former Secretary of State, Vice President, President, and author of the Declaration of Independence, I think he is a reliable source for what was or was not the basis of our government. Furthermore, the Senate ratified the Treaty of Tripoli in 1797, which explicitly says, "The Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." Ergo, THE FACT THAT IT SAYS "GOD" IN THE CONSTITUTION DOES NOT MEAN THAT OUR COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON CHRISTIANITY. In conclusion, myth busted.

As for certain political parties and politicians who try to play the God card in support if their ideology, I wouldn't stand too close to them for fear of being struck by lightning. God is not a Republican. God is, of course, not a Democrat either, but Republicans are notorious for this line of thinking. When it comes to politics, if your only reason for supporting legislation is because it coincides with your personal beliefs (e.g. being anti-gay marriage because the Bible says it's wrong) then find another reason to support opinion. You cannot expect to legislate religion in a country with a separated church and state. Let the Bible be your personal guide for living if you believe it, but do not then turn around and try to make it law for someone else. God gave us free will so we could choose to follow him. By trying to make the Bible law, you are taking that away which God himself granted. "The Bible says so" argument is meaningless to non-believers, so for something to pass our officially non-Christian-based government, it needs to be supported by something else.

Reality plague strikes again!

(The Signal 2.15)

Kudos to filters and censors. On a recent trip home, I was reminded how good we have it here in the OBU bubble. While there, I couldn’t even turn on the television without seeing people my age doing “normal” things on MTV or people telling hilarious jokes on Comedy Central…it was downright offensive. Luckily our cable access on campus blocks smut like this to protect our minds and souls from the infectious corruption of the real world. Another aspect of the bubble I missed was the leisure of going to a dorm room and not having to worry about the possibility of girls coming over. If we are to protect ourselves from immorality, it is imperative that we are not in the same room with a member of the opposite sex without a standard-sized shoe (not a sandal!) propping open the door. Just think of all the terrible things that could happen without that shoe: finding privacy, feeling like an adult, or even getting a taste of real life. No, no, no we cannot have that! Rather, we should be thankful that we have someone to hold our hands during this time of transition into adulthood. Always remember: a shoe in the door keeps you pure; no shoe in the door makes you a whore.

Tuition dollars at work

(The Signal 2.15)

Kudos to Bulgaria and Romania for officially joining the European Union! That’s funny because I always thought they were in South America or something. On second thought, maybe that’s Botswana and Rwanda. I always get those mixed up. All of the little countries on those other little continents kind of run together after a while. I do well just to remember that the Atlantic is west and the Pacific is east. Thank God for Contemporary World! If it weren’t for that map test I probably wouldn’t even know that much. It is always nice to see my tuition dollars at work ($10,000 per ocean) when I can show off my education even though that doesn’t never often happen much.


Supplemental Material
Who cares about the European Union or any of these other countries? Not many people apparently. Last year a survey was conducted by National Geographic to measure geographic literacy among Americans aged 18-24. In another proud moment for the country, Americans reaffirmed their global reputation of egocentrism by miserably failing the survey. Here are a few results:

• 33% could not pinpoint Louisiana on a map
• 60% could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East
• 88% could not find Afghanistan on a map of Asia
• 50% could not identify the state of New York
• 37% could not find their own wenis (look it up)

And how did we become a world power, again? Oh yea the A-bomb. At least we have that going for us.

Forward your salvation now

(The Signal 2.8)

Kudos to e-mail forwards. What in the world-wide-web would we do without these bits of joy to brighten up our days? My personal favorites are the ones that challenge me to forward them to everyone I know so that I can prove that I love Jesus. I cannot even count the number of times I have wished for a simple way to prove my faith to God and everyone else, and these forwards are precisely that! Now I know there are some of you out there who laugh at these and disregard them as junk mail, but we will see who’s laughing when you’re standing at the pearly gates and you miss the cut by one or two forwards. Just think of it as living out the Great Commission in the digital age (every tongue, tribe, and IP address). In addition to proving your faith, forwards give you the opportunity to profit financially. Just last month I was chosen to receive $37 million from the former prince of Nigeria! So next time you are about to delete what looks like junk mail, take a minute to read it lest you miss out on great opportunities like these.


Supplemental Material
Forwards are dumb. Enough said.

Texts have killed the spoken word

(The Signal 2.8)

Kudos to text messages for giving us another reason to have even less interpersonal interaction than we already do. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming to have to look up a friend’s number in your phone (or even worse try to remember their speed dial number) and then, on top of that, carry on a spoken conversation. Don’t feel bad, it’s not just you. This is a shared burden of all who live in the technology age. Luckily we have the aid of texting, pardon the cool-kid lingo, to lighten our load. With this life-saving feature, we have only to push the buttons without the added pressure of actually speaking to a real, live person. Social interaction is overrated as it is. With text messages we can alleviate stressful cell-situations as we move even closer to the utopia of exclusively written interaction, the way God intended it as modeled by the Bible – longest text message ever. Hey, if it’s good enough for Him, it’s good enough for me.


Supplemental Material
In the olden days, hand-written letters were the only reasonable form of communication and took weeks to arrive at their destination. Because of this, people would spend a great amount of time sorting out their thoughts and perfecting their wording since this would be their only contact with that person for a long time. Today, technology allows us instant communication with anyone in the world, so we are less inclined to spend time pouring over what we are going to say since we can clarify or provide further information at a moment's notice, if necessary. Despite the great advantages offered by this technology, it seems to have enabled our generation to disregard the need to communicate clearly with organized thoughts. This is most evident in argument and debate. The next time you happen upon two people arguing, see if they are presenting their sides with supporting evidence or just going back and forth to see who can out talk the other and then you will understand this point. People today seem more interested in language quantity than quality. This is like sitting in a restaurant for hours and just watching other people eat. In the end you are still hungry and angry for the time you've wasted. Don't settle for the smell of good food when the taste is so much more satisfying.

Blessed are the hazers

(The Signal 2.1)

Kudos to pledge week for its immeasurable contribution to the morale of our campus. Whoever invented this tradition should have won a Nobel Peace Prize, and I’ll tell you why. Imagine a large group of girls or guys having to work together every single day and live in the same small place for four long years. This clearly has nuclear fallout written all over it. But then, in a sheer act of divine inspiration, someone comes up with a way to get all of that emotion, hardship, and warring out in one short week in order to offset the next three years. Simply brilliant! Unfortunately, there are some who feel compelled to voice their disdain for the week and its “non-hazing, team building exercises”, but what these people do not know is that there is actually a Biblical basis for pledge week and “non-hazing, team building exercises.” Did you think the twelve disciples just walked into Jesus’ club unscathed? Of course not. What they don’t tell you is that there were about 50 de-pledges before they whittled it down to the twelve survivors. Imagine going through line-up with someone who knows all of your past thoughts and actions as well as the ones that haven’t even happened yet -- Pledge Master Alpha and Omega. So if you think about it in perspective, it really isn’t that bad (the untimely death of most of those twelve notwithstanding.) The fact that it always rains on bid day is even a blatant sign of God taking pleasure in His creation just like the flood in the Old Testament. Keep fighting the good fight pledges. This week of hardship will payoff over the next three years of bliss…or however long it is until your next duty.

This series of tubes

Welcome to the Kudos/Kudonts blogspot. I will be posting new and old articles as seen in The Signal the only difference being that they will be the original, pre-edited drafts. Feel free to leave your comments and discussion topics concerning the posts. I look forward to hearing your feedback.