Redemption on the block for the highest bidder

(Signal 3.15)

Kudos to Corporate Christianity, the new breed of religion that is taking over America one soul/bank account at a time. Unlike the original Christianity, which focuses on converting lost souls into followers of Jesus, the Corporate-variety focuses mainly on converting lost pocket-books into financiers of a “Christian-related” cause while taking the soul as an acceptable down-payment. Why convert a person’s money and not just the person, you might ask? Basically, the members of the Church of Corporate Christianity, or Corporates, have uncovered the true calling of Christians. This calling is not only to have faith in Jesus but to contribute vast sums of money to carry out his teachings by turning pastors into rockstars and mundane church buildings (where it is hard for the spirit to move) into fancy worship stadiums. Clearly the Corporates are modeling their churches and organizations after the early church in the Book of Acts that was well-known for its gaudy buildings (prominently displayed holes in the ground), wealthy leaders (currency: persecution), and hoards of possessions as the poor did not yet exist (still doesn’t for the Corporates). Financial success of a church is a clear sign of God taking pleasure in its shareholders—I mean members. Actually, at the rate some of these churches are growing (spiritually, that is), we might be on the brink of the elite few going public. What better to spread the gospel than to allow people to buy stock in a church and enable shareholders and ministers to profit financially and spiritually from the work of God? (Paging Mr. Luther, Mr. Martin Luther.) We should learn from these religious pioneers who are on the cutting edge of God’s ever-changing ways and measure our own lives and churches according to their doctrine. If your pastor isn’t being treated like a divinely placed CEO or your church has been frivolously spending money on the needy and not itself, then maybe you should reevaluate the purpose of the church…or just go witness to the rich folks.

Supplemental Material
To clarify, the Church of Corporate Christianity is not real in the sense that churches actually identify themselves as part of it. It is merely a label I created for churches that seemingly value financial progress and the image of prosperity over actual substantive spiritual progress. This is most evident in contemporary churches that give their pastors seven-figure salaries and conduct worship "services" in sanctuaries that cost more than some churches spend in a lifetime. This makes me question the motives of such a church. Are these glorious buildings built with the intention of honoring God or is there something else at work? Does a seven-figure salary fall in the realm of "self-sacrifice for the ministry"? I am reminded of the temple built in the Old Testament that was lined with gold and all kinds of other magnificent materials. The purpose of that building's splendor was to glorify God, but as one biblical scholar puts it, "There is an apparent parallel [between contemporary buildings and the OT temple], but the movement of the redemptive story changes things, turning our focus from an earthly kingdom to a heavenly kingdom with earthly implications." Granted I do not know what all goes into a given church's financial decisions, and it is not my place to judge them. These are just important questions that churches and their congregations should ask themselves.